


Jiggers, Shots and the Scientific Formula

by romanticalgirl



Category: Fantastic Four (Movieverse)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 12:31:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/761338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>To make <a href="http://lokei.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://lokei.livejournal.com/"></a><b>lokei</b> feel better. And also because they are pretty.</p><p>Originally posted 5-2-07</p>
    </blockquote>





	Jiggers, Shots and the Scientific Formula

**Author's Note:**

> To make [](http://lokei.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://lokei.livejournal.com/)**lokei** feel better. And also because they are pretty.
> 
> Originally posted 5-2-07

Reed doesn’t think that Johnny _intends_ to do anything with the sprayer, but he’s not completely sure, and it’s a margin of error he’s not sure he’s willing to risk. It’s not as if it’s life or death - _though it **could** be_ , Reed allows, given the look in Johnny’s eyes – but also not worth it just in case. As it is, he nods and lifts his glass and takes a drink, downing the entire contents when it’s apparent Johnny’s going to spray a geyser of beer at him if he doesn’t.

The bourbon or whatever it is that Johnny assured him would put hair on his chest burns like sulfuric acid down his throat, and he gags and then coughs and then manages to breathe again. Johnny’s got that grin – the one Reed knows _all_ too well, and Reed imagines that means he did it right, or at least managed not to embarrass Johnny in any way that’s going to involve Johnny wreaking havoc and getting revenge in the early hours of the morning when it’s likely to involve Sue getting very, _very_ angry with Reed.

He blinks and there’s another glass in front of him, and he’s quite sure he’d emptied it, but it’s filled nearly to the top with the same shimmering golden liquid. “It’s like in a movie.” He says it out loud, he thinks, though he’s beginning to doubt his judgment. As it is, he pulls at the collar of his shirt and looks down, because he’s almost sure that Johnny was being literal.

Johnny laughs and slips onto the stool beside him, a drink in each hand. Reed’s not sure if they’re for Johnny or for Reed or for both of them or for someone else entirely, as it’s never easy to be sure with Johnny. “Well, Richards. What do you think?”

Reed blinks, his lashes feeling longer than normal. Figures that Johnny’d get hair on his chest and Reed would get lashes _more_ like a girl. He sways in, eyeing the drink that’s in front of him. “What is it again?”

“Booze. Good for you.” Johnny takes the glass in front of Reed and holds it up, waiting for Reed to take it. He does and Johnny smiles, and Reed stares at him for a moment. There’s something honest in the smile, which Reed isn’t used to. Normally when Johnny smiles, he’s mocking Reed. It’s kind of unsettling. “Drink up.”

“I don’t think Sue would approve.” He feels pleasantly dumb, the hyper edge of activity burned off his mind, the formulas fading like chalk on a dusty board. “Besides, I don’t have the best control of my powers when I’m intox…inebria….drunk.”

Johnny laughs and drinks his own drink, his eyes staying on Reed; even though Reed’s sure there are several people in the bar more deserving of Johnny’s attention. They’ve got larger breasts, for one thing, even if Reed does have better eyelashes. Reed laughs and downs the drink to hide it, unsure he should explain the thoughts in his head.

Johnny drinks his shot as well, the liquid something hard and dark, almost black in his glass, and Reed’s not sure he wants to know, because he knows if he asks Johnny’ll just have the bartender pour Reed a glass and he’ll have to drink it. He’s also sure, from the glaze in Johnny’s eyes, that that would be, to put it bluntly, very unwise.

“Sue is at some spa with a bunch of girls getting her toes painted, layers of skin scrubbed off and her body slathered in mud and cucumbers. Sue doesn’t care that you’re getting drunk. Sue is probably knee deep in complimentary champagne and bitching that she doesn’t have telepathic powers like Jean Grey, and Rogue’s probably telling her to suck it up because at least she can enjoy the massage.”

Reed can feel his mind go blank or, more precisely, his mind go far too vivid at Johnny’s words and he shifts uncomfortably on his stool. Johnny’s eyes widen and he laughs, leaning in and clinking his glass against Reed’s, which seems to have filled itself again. Reed’s beginning to think he _is_ in a movie, and he’s only afraid that, instead of James Bond, he’s Harold Lloyd.

Johnny leans in, his hand warm on Reed’s shoulders, fingers brushing the slope of Reed’s neck. “Like that thought, do you?”

“I’m sure I have no idea what you mean.”

“Normally,” Johnny’s breath is as hot as his touch and Reed wonders if Johnny ever loses control and then very promptly swears he will never wonder that again. “Normally I’d agree with you. But right now, I think you know _exactly_ what I mean, because all those higher brain functions aren’t thinking about math or science. They’re thinking about girls wrapped in towels and sweat and lounging around in some sauna together.”

“You’re aware that those girls could, together and individually, eviscerate me, some of them with just a _thought_ right?”

Johnny laughs and it’s even warmer, and Reed glances over to see the liquid in Johnny’s glass shimmer, bubbles boiling just below the surface. He lifts his own drink and downs it, the burning sensation either numbed over time or simply unable to compare with the pressure and heat of Johnny’s hand, of his breath. “That’s kind of the appeal, to be honest.”

“You want to see me eviscerated?” Reed tilts his head, thinking maybe he’s reading signals where there aren’t signals, or reading them wrong. Of course, he’s impressed that he’s actually noticed signals at all, even if they’re imaginary, since Johnny has said that he couldn’t read a signal with a book and a series of small flags. Reed had gone off on a discourse about ships and signaling flags after that and Johnny had eventually left in something Reed is pretty sure was annoyance, but it had given him an idea that had led to a breakthrough in a new transmitting system that was now employed by the X-men, the Fantastic Four, the Justice League and S.H.I.E.L.D.

“The thought has its moments.” Johnny pulls his hand away, and all Reed is conscious of is the _absence_ of the heat and how cold the air feels when its gone. “But I suppose there are reasons to keep you around too.”

Reed licks his lips and blinks up at Johnny, wondering when Johnny got to his feet, when he got so close, even though he’d removed his hand. “There are?”

“A very minute number.” Johnny grins and Reed swallows and reaches for his drink, surprised to find it empty. Shaking his head, Johnny steps back so Reed can stand. “It’s closing time, Richards.”

“ _Really_?” Reed glances around and sees that all the girls are gone and all the lights are brighter. “Are bars and theaters the only places that turn their lights _on_ when they close?” He shakes his head and gets to his feet, still marveling at the empty bar. “I don’t think I’ve ever closed a bar before. Well, without talking about scientific method, imperfect variables and…”

“Reed?” He stops and looks at Johnny, closing his mouth on whatever words were going to come next. He figures it’s safer because, right now, he’s not sure what he would say. Johnny shakes his head, not saying any more. Reed sways a little as he takes his first step, closing his eyes for a moment as the room swims and then settles, as firmly as Johnny’s arm around his waist. “Let’s go home.”

“I really do know a lot about imperfect variables.”

“I’m aware.” Johnny nods, and there’s something in his voice that makes Reed realize that fantasizing about her and another girl isn’t the only reason Sue might want to eviscerate him. “Let’s go home. And you can show me everything you know."  



End file.
